What if I don’t want to go back to normal?

 

resurrect

verb

res·​ur·​rect | \ ˌre-zə-ˈrekt  \

resurrected; resurrecting

1: to bring back to life

2: to bring to view or into use again
(^THIS!!)

 

What do we want this all to look like when it’s “over?” (PS: that’s gonna take some time, y’all.)

 

What will we bring into view or into use again?

 

I love that definition of resurrect. It helped me to bring into focus the tension I’m feeling…this knowing in my bones that NOTHING will ever be “back to normal” again. At least not for me.

 

I can’t get away from this question. It’s been following me everywhere…for about 3 weeks.

 

What am I so anxious to get back to? 

 

What if I don’t want “back to normal”?

 

Back to normal would include a country that propagates racism and continues to operate in ways that oppress and control people of colour, the LGBTQIA community, women, and those in our communities living at the bottom of the socioeconomic ladder. 

 

Back to normal means we continue to hide in our busyness and keep our inner child quietly tucked away in a place that we can’t hear her laughter. I’ve realized, in spades, that some of the shit I thought was SO important, well, just isn’t.

 

Please don’t hear me say everything about life pre-covid19 was horrible. That wouldn’t be fair. I recognize that while I feel great opposition to some of these systems I’m pointing to, I simultaneously benefit from them. I just know in my gut that we are better than the way it’s always been. We have some seriously broken systems and cultural expectations governing our everyday lives. I know you could feel it before, and now it’s laid out on display. 

 

We are going through a tremendous amount of collective grief and I will NOT waste on single drop of that. 

 

We have an invitation to rethink, relearn, rebuild…and it might take some more destruction to get to a place here we’re really ready to dig in and do the work. We might need to dismantle some ideals we’ve never questioned and take a hard look at what we ACTUALLY believe…about ourselves, our fellow humans, our leaders. 

 

You get the idea.

 

How? 

 

I know I can’t single handedly change centuries of oppressive systems, and in my lifetime, I might not get to see the impact of the changes I make in my post covid19 resurrected form. But still, I’ll grow into my new skin as we go along and shed what no longer fits. I’ll shed it in a glorious, messy way that leaves my new, fresh skin raw and without protection because that, my friend, is the form I long for. 

 

We need that. We hate it, but we need it – to be vulnerable and open-hearted. That’s where the change happens. The compassion for ourselves, and each other, swells in this place. We give ourselves permission to be wrong here. To change our minds, our hearts, our way of living. 

 

Intentionality shows up. Grace sits down next to her. 

 

So maybe in a practical sense, resurrection looks like seeking out new spiritual practice and/or self-care. You can go out of your way to shop for items and consume media and art made by people with marginalized identities instead of just opting for the same Amazon service you’ve always used. (I know we need the Amazons of the world too…I get it) 

 

Start supporting a food bank or a children’s shelter beyond sharing a post on social media. Mow their grass, pull weeds, or ask if you can repair the fence. It all matters. 

 

Become a better ally by educating yourself on the history of racial injustice and what life is like for black, brown and indigenous Americans. (HINT: do some research on your own – you can start with the book White Fragility by Robin DiAngelo. Pick up some work by Belle Hooks and Maya Angelou. You’re welcome.)

 

Read about upcoming elections and learn all you can regarding who we might put in charge – down to the LOCAL LEVEL. When it’s time to vote for said leaders, maybe now we do it while thinking about the impact these leaders will have on our collective well-being and our planet, not just our part of the map or only ourselves. 

 

They’re speaking for you, for me, our kids, for all of us. 

 

The story of Jesus’ resurrection has been split into a couple of paths: the western Christianity story often focuses on HE rose (then everyone goes on arguing about whether that’s true, ect.) but in eastern Christianity, the story is more centered around the collective resurrection. 

 

We all rise. Humanity rises together.

 

If you’ve had trouble seeing just how connected humanity is, this pandemic has shined a spotlight on that very truth.

 

I see the pain of losing all that was. Our normalcy gone, and the unknown stretching out in front of us like an endless, flat road. But I also see beautiful lotuses popping up through all the proverbial shit. Opportunities to lean in and unlearn. To shift my gaze and remember parts of me that had gone missing.

 

What do you want to bring into view and back into use? Are there things that used to bring you joy that you didn’t even realize you had shifted your gaze away from?